The Roadmap to Growth

You’re driving from New York to LA with a friend. Your sole responsibility is to drive and your friend in the passenger seat is in charge of navigation. You’ve got the pedal to the metal the whole way.

10 hours into the drive he realizes you’ve missed a turn and have been driving toward Florida for hours. He corrects the path and has you back on track. You drive 15 more hours before realizing it happened again and you were headed north toward Ohio. This continues for days until you’re both exhausted and you’ve only made it to Chicago.

This is what happens when we work hard without a compass, without knowing what’s working for us and what isn’t, without checking in consistently to make sure you’re on the right path.

Over the last two years, while receiving treatment, I’ve had the opportunity to read (and reread) roughly six dozen books. Due to my illness, I’ve had to maximize my efficiency as the amount of energy available to me has waned.

Each book has unique ideas and offered tailored strategies based on the authors’ personal expertise and years of research they performed. Each of the tools they offered were designed to help one overcome obstacles whether they be physical or mental.

My health in many ways has been a blessing because I’ve been able to put these ideas to the test time and time again. After trying all of these different strategies, and writing about many of them over the past 7 months, I realized I was in fact driving without a good navigator.

I needed to create a way for myself to stay on track and condense what I had learned into a simpler, easier to use set of tools I could employ. A heavy chunk of this was realized in a conversation with my dad on prioritization. He pointed out to me the importance of asking questions and adjusting one’s strategy as new information or methods are introduced. He shared many ideas he had received from career coaches and has been using it for years.

The approach I’ve found to work best is cyclical in the sense that I am constantly checking my map by asking the right questions to make sure I’m still driving toward my ideal destination. Here’s the outline:

1. What am I trying to improve in my life?
2. Read books by experts in that field
3. Test the tools and determine what worked or didn’t work
4. Incorporate those habits into my life
5. Continue to re-assess if my current habits set me up for success

Step 1) Find/Create the Right Map

Having the right map means first asking: what am I trying to learn right now? Continually ask yourself this question throughout the process for a couple of reasons.

The first is it helps you choose your destination. You must create a clear goal, a clear destination in order to be successful.

The second is that you’ll narrow your focus (i.e. the difference between telling a friend I’ll meet you in San Francisco and saying I’ll meet you in California). Narrowing your focus improves the efficiency of your work.

Finally, It keeps you on track. If you are faced with a new tool to use or a new idea, ask this question and you’ll know immediately if it will help you get to your goal or if it going to be a distraction.

I’ve chosen to focus my attention on fighting the effects of the medication I take that causes depression and dissociation. My end goal is to have the tools I need to prime myself to have more positive, engaging, and fulfilling days.

Step 2) Learn New Tools

Once you have the destination, begin to read and absorb all of the information you can that’s been written by the top specialists in fields you find applicable. You may find some things that do work for you and others that don’t. Be curious during this stage.

I’ve aimed my reading toward meditative/spiritual leaders, law of attraction books, and gratitude practices.

Step 3) Scrutinize Each Tool – Revert Back to Your “Map”

As you read and test each tool, take the time to truly analyze the effect of each one. Is it doing what you need it to do? Have you given it enough time? Can it be improved with either a greater commitment or supplemented by another habit?

My morning routine used to be all over the place. I just did activity after activity meant to prime me for the day but when I asked the question, “What do I want from my morning routine?” I realized it wasn’t in line with my goal.

Now my morning routine is simpler but impacts me far more. I read a book on the law of attraction for 30 minutes, meditate for 20, and journal for 10 on what I want my day and life to be as if it has already happened (I begin with “I am so happy and grateful now that…”). I do this knowing I’m not trying to be overly energized or taxing my body, as my main focus is my mental health by being open to the day and connecting with those around me.

Ultimately some things you try won’t work and others will. Have a keen eye for what is actually pushing you forward and what is something that “you’re supposed to do” but isn’t giving you any benefit.

Step 4) The 21 Day Rule – Make These Habits Your Life

Now is the time to test what you’ve read. It’s been proven it takes 21 days to develop a habit. One of the main reasons why we stop doing things, even if they’re good for us, is they require effort. After 21 days the mental strain greatly diminishes and we are left with the raw tool.

When I first started meditating it was tough to stick with it as I’m someone who likes to stay moving. Nonetheless, I made sure to continue and now I’m able to reap the added benefits of greater focus, appreciation of life, and openness to new ideas.

Whatever you determine to be helpful for you, make sure to spend the time actually implementing it.

Step 5) Hone and Adjust Your Strategy

This whole process comes down to prioritization. As your life changes, so will your goals. I may be focused heavily on my mental health now but as I improve and get better, I will be able to shift my attention to golf, relationships, and fitness.

As my attention shifts, so will the habits and tools I’ll employ. Yours should too. The benefit is that after all of this effort you’ll know what habits you want to carry over into the next phase of your life. For me, meditation has stuck with me as I see the benefits. For you, it might be a morning run or listening to a book on tape during your commute to work. The important thing is you’re developing a catalog of tools you’ll have for the rest of your life.

“Work smarter, not harder” is a phrase that is often overused – but for good reason. I never understood how to do this until now. Taking the time to create a roadmap and continuously check-in to make sure you’re working toward it is crucial for becoming successful in all of your undertakings. Work hard, but do so with a plan in place to get you there.