Driving from New York to LA at night can be daunting if you think of how far you have to drive without knowing what lies ahead. What’s even crazier is we are able to safely do this despite our headlights only stretching a mere 200 feet down the road.
We could plan out the entire drive, looking at each pothole and bump we might face, however, once we get started anything can happen. A famous military quote I’ve been told is, “no battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.”
The same is true in our life. By taking life one step at a time, we break down our goals into manageable bites, allowing us to better handle the challenges and obstacles that will inevitably pop up before us.
I think most of us can agree when January 1st, 2020 came around, we all had plans for what our year would look like. Many of us planned on moving to a different city, starting new jobs, or finding a new relationship, but a mere two months later, all of those plans could be thrown out the window for the new norm.
Our entire planet was impacted by this. We were all tested by our adaptability to new circumstances. Some of us prospered, learning new habits and skills, others spent it waiting for the world to come back to normal, and still, others bitterly fought this new reality.
Why have we seen people react in such drastically different ways? In what ways can we learn to adapt to life’s challenges?
One of my favorite books on evolving with the ebbs and flows of life is a short book called “Who Moved My Cheese” in which two groups, one, a pair of mice, and the other, tiny humans, are in a metaphorical maze with cheese hidden within it.
The two groups set off to find their cheese and both eventually find it. However, they are placed back at the start of the maze each day only to have to find it again. Both pairs soon are capable of easily navigating their way to the stockpile of cheese. There is one difference between the two though…
The mice stay as alert to their daily adventures as they were on the first day. They don’t expect the cheese to still be there when they arrive each day but are pleased when it is. The humans, on the other hand, named Hem and Haw, begin to relax. They think they have found life on easy street and will no longer have to work hard. Soon they begin hanging up their running shoes and getting comfortable.
One day, the cheese isn’t there, the two groups have finished it all. As you well know, some people (and mice) can really put back some cheese. The mice immediately begin their way out from the safe comfort of their home to begin exploring the maze again for more cheese. The humans, on the other hand, have a different reaction entirely.
They begin to complain that the cheese has always been there, they have always found the cheese there, someone must have stolen their cheese. Rather than accepting their new reality that their stockpile is gone, they spend their time trying to figure out why their cheese isn’t there anymore.
The mice soon find the next stockpile of cheese, but just like before, they stay as alert to their findings as they were when they first sought out to find the food. The humans soon grow weak when Hem finally decides to stop worrying about what happened to their cheese and go find some more. However, Haw decides to continue to complain about why their cheese isn’t there anymore.
Eventually, Hem reaches the two mice and the new pile of cheese. Soon that stockpile is gone as well and they must begin again. Haw, meanwhile, is still back investigating the missing cheese in the first location and has grown too weak to move.
The mice continue to immediately adapt, Hem complains for a bit before giving in and beginning his own search, and Haw continues to fight his new reality.
This is a clear metaphor for how we can handle new obstacles, challenges, or information in our lives. What we must understand is this metaphor will continue for our entire reality. There is no set solution. There is no life on easy street. The only constant in life is change.
The mice represent those who are focused solely on the next 200 feet of road. They are always on alert that something might change and are prepared to quickly and easily adjust their plans.
Hem represents those of us who will get a flat tire along the road and after spending an adequate time complaining, decide to actually swap out the tire. Hem is those of us who when faced with a challenge to our current mental image of life, tend to resist it before we change our behavior to adapt to it. Unfortunately, the time spent resisting life is often spent in suffering due to the juxtaposition of our mental image of how things should be and reality itself.
Finally, Haw is the kind of person who when they get a flat tire, they choose to merely yell at the pothole like a crazy person for popping the tire. They only focus on the problem and not what can be done to solve it.
Each of us would like to think we are the mice, constantly changing to the world around us but this is rarely the case. More often than not we are Hem and Haw. For example, unlike my sister, I know I dig my heels in like Haw when I say that pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza and sour cream doesn’t belong on a PB+J.
Nonetheless, every moment we are presented with the choice to act like the mice. We have the opportunity when we are presented with new information or a new obstacle to react in one of two ways: complain that the pothole and subsequent flat tire has ruined our road trip to LA or we can get out of the car, change the tire, and continue on our way.
Having a goal is important, having a plan is helpful to get there, but to be successful in reaching your final destination, we need to evolve to our ever-changing circumstances. We can’t prepare for every pothole in life but we can act accordingly when they inevitably pop up. All we need to do is focus on the next 200 feet of road.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu
Nicholas – you will be sorely missed here in SC but many, but your pals know that moving on for a while will be a positive act for you. Keep up your incredible attitude, be safe and especially well. Positivity is a very powerful tool as you well know. Enjoy your family and come back to us as soon as it feels right. Hugs (with social distancing,of course) Peggy