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“You don’t look like you believe you’re going to make those putts,” my dad told me after I walked off the course at the state championship.

“All the ones inside ten feet—you look confident, poised, calm. But the longer the putt gets, the more tentative you seem. Like you’re just trying to get it close.”

I love feedback—especially when people notice things I might be missing. But this one caught me off guard. My dad’s not a golfer. He doesn’t know the technical side of putting. So at first, I brushed it off. I was even a little upset. What does he know?

But later that night, something about it stuck. Maybe he was right.

So the next day, for the third round of the tournament, I tried something. On every single putt, I acted like the most confident player on the course. I paid attention to how I was breathing, how I stood over the ball, how I reacted—no matter what happened.

And by the end of the round, something clicked. I had the best putting day of my life—not just because more putts dropped, but because I felt like every single one could. I wasn’t just hoping anymore—I was embodying belief.

Looking back, that moment taught me something I didn’t have words for at the time: Confidence starts before the results do. You feel it in your body, in your tone, in how you show up—long before the scoreboard reflects it.

There’s an old story I think about often. A king was frustrated by how rough and painful the roads were in his kingdom, so he ordered leather to be laid across every street. But his advisor had a better idea: “Instead of covering the whole world, why not just cover your feet?”

For a long time on the golf course, I was doing the same thing—trying to control everything around me. I figured if I could prepare for every possible shot, control every variable, then I’d finally feel confident. But that feeling never came.

Turns out, it wasn’t about having the whole course under control. It was about how I stood over the ball. How I walked between shots. How I handled the misses.

That was the turning point: where awareness met action. I began to embody confidence—not because I had proof, but because I chose to act that way.

It made me wonder:  What if transformation doesn’t start with outcomes—but with the energy we embody before outcomes arrive? And how often are we practicing failure without even realizing it?

How often do we rehearse anxiety in the way we hold our shoulders, avoid eye contact, or rush through the day like we’re already behind? How often are we embodying self-doubt in the way we talk to ourselves, shrink when we’re unsure, or over-explain just to feel understood?

We say we feel stuck. Like no matter how many books we read, how much we meditate or go to therapy, nothing really changes. But maybe the truth is, we’ve just been rehearsing the version of ourselves we’re ready to outgrow.

What if we could change that?

What if we started practicing confidence—not by saying we have it, but by holding eye contact, standing tall, and breathing like we belong in the room?

What if we could see the version of ourselves we want to become, and start embodying it today?

That’s what this post is about: how to stop waiting to feel different, stop waiting for life to change, and start becoming different—on purpose. Don’t leave who you become up to chance. Start showing up like the version of you you actually want to be.

Transformation doesn’t happen when life changes. It happens when you do.

The Power of Embodiment

The belief snapshot is important because it draws our attention to hidden beliefs, hidden workings, and unconscious narratives that are running behind the scenes. But awareness alone is not enough.

Awareness opens the door, but it doesn’t change the room you’re standing in.

The belief snapshot plays the same role that my dad did for me on the golf course. He brought attention to something I hadn’t even noticed myself. And that’s the power of reflection—whether it comes from someone else or from a tool we use to investigate our own minds. Sometimes we can ask the right questions and the answers will rise up. Other times, we’re completely blind to our own patterns until someone or something puts a mirror in front of us.

That’s the job of the belief snapshot: not to fix the belief, but to see it. To catch it in the act. From there, we begin to see how thoughts shape perception, how our beliefs become lenses. And that kind of awareness is a crucial first step.

But how often have we had an aha moment—a line from a book, a podcast, a late-night conversation—and felt like everything was going to change? We see ourselves differently. We feel lit up. We walk around for a day or two with that insight buzzing in the back of our mind.

But then the days pass. Life creeps back in and the insight fades.

This is where people get stuck. We believe the realization itself should be enough. But insight doesn’t rewire the brain unless it’s paired with emotion, repetition, and embodiment.

And that creates its own kind of frustration. The kind that says: I know what needs to change. I even have some of the tools. So why don’t I feel different?

Knowing the belief is false isn’t the same as being free from it.

This is where embodiment comes in.

Embodiment is bringing the belief into your posture, your breath, your tone, your choices. It’s letting the new story live through you, even before it feels real. And that process isn’t always glamorous. It usually starts off feeling awkward, unfamiliar—like trying on someone else’s clothes.

But that’s the point. You’re rehearsing a new role.

Some of the best actors in the world talk about this experience of embodying a character or role. While filming The Aviator, Leonardo DiCaprio developed real OCD symptoms. He was so immersed in portraying Howard Hughes’s compulsions that brain scans later showed his neural activity mirrored that of someone with clinical OCD. He ended up seeking therapy and working with a neuroscientist to recover from the role. He didn’t just study Hughes—he became him.

It shows just how powerful full embodiment can be. Even actors with complete awareness of the role they’re playing can struggle to detach once the body starts believing the role is real. So imagine what years of unconscious repetition does to the rest of us. Imagine who we become when we’re not consciously shaping our own psyche.

You can say you’re confident—but are your shoulders still hunched? You can say you’re relaxed—but is your breathing shallow? The body doesn’t care what you think. It cares how you move.

So here’s the turning point: awareness gives you the chance to choose a new path. But embodiment is how you actually walk it.

And that path requires practice. Just like the old beliefs were formed through repetition, so are the new ones. Most people wait for the feeling to come first—confidence, peace, worthiness. 

But those states aren’t found. They’re created.

You don’t wait until you feel confident to start acting differently. You move differently first—and the feeling follows.

That’s what I learned on the golf course that day. Confidence didn’t come from controlling every outcome. It came from how I showed up between the shots—my rhythm, my body language, the way I stepped into each moment with the delusional confidence that I could execute the shot. And pretty quickly, that delusion started getting backed by proof.

So if you feel stuck, maybe it’s not because nothing is working. Maybe it’s because the shift isn’t something you can just think your way into. It’s not something that happens to you—it’s something you rehearse. The same way old beliefs got into your body—through repetition, reaction, routine—you now have a chance to put new ones there.

It starts with awareness. It deepens with embodiment.

That’s where we’re headed next: into the practice. Into the body. Into what it really means to not just know differently—but move differently. These are the tools that help make that shift real.

Tools for Embodiment

For years, I used to think insight was enough. I’d read all these self-help books. Then after each book, I would think, Wow, my life is about to change. I already feel better.

Then over time, I noticed nothing actually happened. Nothing changed in my day to day life or in how I ultimately felt.

I struggled to figure out why it was so difficult to take these mindsets into the real world after I’d learned about them. That’s how I began to understand that change doesn’t come from understanding alone. It comes from practice. Purposeful practice. Repetition. And embodiment of the person I want to be.

This section is not a to-do list — it’s a toolbox.

Try things out. Get curious. See what sticks. What works for me might not work for you. And what doesn’t help today might become essential tomorrow.

These tools aren’t about forcing change. They’re about inviting a new way of being to take root. Sometimes, our minds can be like trying to push a donkey through a doorway. It just won’t budge. But as soon as you get to the other side and start coaxing it through with a carrot, it happily steps through.

That’s what I want you to do. Have the self-compassion and self-love to coax your mind into a new way of being — rather than force it to change.

And here are a few ways you might begin doing that.

Tool 1: Body-First Focus

Move first. Feel second. The body often knows the way before the mind catches up. You don’t wait until you feel calm or confident to start moving differently — you move differently first, and the feeling follows.

Start with posture and movement.

If you want to feel more confident, walk like someone who’s confident. Stand tall. Roll your shoulders back. Lift your chest. Move with purpose.

One of my favorite ways to do this is to go for short walks. Whether it’s between writing sessions, after practice, or just down the hallway — I’ll go for a short walk and practice this new identity. Let my steps become a rhythm. Relax into the moment. Focus on what the feeling of confidence is actually like.

Walking is something you do every day. And if you associate walking with confidence, it will start to seep into the rest of your life.

You can also begin to shift your emotional state with your facial expressions.

Smile — even if it feels fake. Your brain reads that as safety. Breathe slower. Soften your jaw. Laugh to yourself, if you want. 

As you change your posture, your breath, your expression — you change your emotional chemistry. Your body doesn’t know the difference between real or fake emotion — it just follows your cues. Let motion lead emotion.

Tool 2: Rehearse the Feelings You Want to Live In

Don’t wait to feel different. Practice feeling different. We rehearse the things we don’t want all the time — worry, stress, fear. Instead, why don’t we practice the emotions we actually want to feel.

Pick an emotion — joy, confidence, excitement, peace. Sit with that emotion, notice where you feel it. What does it feel like?

Then pair it with a piece of music that evokes it, that makes you feel this emotion even more. Feel the music deeply. And finally find a memory of yours that you felt this in. Anchor yourself and your emotions in this memory.

When you recall the memory, embellish it. Amplify it. If you felt a 2/10 confidence, turn it into a 12. Breathe into it. Add detail. Let yourself feel it in your chest.

Once the emotion is alive in your body, add movement to help lock it in:

Walk slowly and deliberately. Hold a Superman pose — yes, the classic hands-on-hips, chest-up stance. Give yourself a high five in the mirror. Raise your arms above your head like you just won something.

It might feel silly at first. But these aren’t gimmicks — they’re powerful cues to your nervous system. Research from Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy showed that standing in an open, expansive pose for just two minutes can increase testosterone and decrease cortisol, boosting feelings of confidence and reducing stress.

Your body reads posture as reality.

You stand tall, you breathe deeply — and your brain gets the message: I’m safe. I belong. I’m confident. I’m allowed to take up space.

Even if you don’t fully believe it yet, your nervous system starts to. And over time, that belief becomes something that feels authentic. 

Your nervous system responds to rehearsal. Practice elevated emotions until they feel familiar. Create the state before the world gives you a reason.

Tool 3: Mindset Tools

Rewire your reality by asking better questions. The questions you ask shape the answers your brain searches for. Most of us are just living inside the wrong questions.

I used to ask myself: Why am I so anxious? Why does my body hurt? Why am I so tired? Why does this person annoy me so much?

And I got more of those same feelings in return. But this was never what I wanted to focus on or feel. So I started asking: Why do I feel so grateful today? Why is life starting to feel fun again? Why do I trust myself more deeply? Why am I so lucky?

The answers started changing my experience. I began noticing the little things in my day. Just last week I had my windows rolled down in my car as I listened to music. I sneezed loudly and the guy in the car behind me yelled “BLESS YOU” and we both started laughing our ass off. 

These moments were always there — I just wasn’t asking the kind of questions that let me see them.

One of the easiest ways to tell what a person believes is by listening to the questions they ask themselves. That’s the lens they live inside of.

So ask yourself: What kind of life do I want to start noticing more of? Then train your mind to look for it.

TRY THIS: A Simple Daily Practice

Here’s one practice that grounds me every single day that takes less than 15 minutes total. It’s simple. It primes me for the day and helps me notice everything that’s great in my life already. 

Morning Practice (7–8 minutes total)

Step 1 – Journaling (2-3 minutes) Write the answers to two questions:

What do I need to do today to feel like a success? Choose three things — small, doable, personal. It might be one act of focus, one meaningful connection, or just showing up when it’s hard. This way you have an easy definition of what a successful day is rather than an ever moving finish line.

What do I need to embody today? Confidence. Positivity. Benevolence. Adaptability. Whatever you need most that day.

Step 2 – Emotional Rehearsal Tool (5 minutes)

Pick one emotion you want to embody today — and feel it on purpose. Refer back to the emotional rehearsal tool. Put on music that evokes it. Recall a memory that represents it. Amplify the feeling. Add movement. Let it live in your body for a few minutes.

That’s your morning: choose the person you want to be, then practice feeling like them. Prime yourself for the day.

Evening Practice (5 minutes total)

This part of the day matters. 

It’s how you remind yourself that you’re already changing — already showing up in ways you used to dream about. This is where you slow down just enough to notice what’s working. Where you give yourself the credit you deserve.

Step 1 – Prep Tomorrow (2 minutes)

Write down your to-do list for the next day. This isn’t about productivity — it’s about peace. This clears your mind so you don’t wake up in planning mode — you wake up ready to show up with a clear plan of action.

Step 2 – Reflect (3 minutes)

Ask yourself:

What did I feel proud of today? Don’t skip this. There’s always something. Maybe it’s how you handled stress. Maybe it’s how you showed up for someone. Maybe it’s a slight improvement you made in how you responded to a challenge. Find pride in how you showed up today.

What went well today? This is where you practice noticing the good. A great conversation. A walk outside. A quiet moment where you felt like yourself. These are the wins that rebuild your trust in life.

If you want a little more structure, there’s one more tool that helps me check in with how I’m growing — internally, externally, and emotionally. I call it XIV:

X – Discipline: What was I disciplined about today? This is the foundation for building momentum — even small acts of discipline compound.

I – Intangible moments: What subtle moments did I notice or enjoy? This is the stuff that makes life beautiful — the laughter with friends, the leaves rustling in the trees, the “bless you” from the car behind you. These are the little moments life is really made up of.

V – Virtues: What qualities did I live today? Maybe it was courage, compassion, confidence, or patience. Look for examples of the virtues you embodied today, and you’ll start to see the strength of your character. Naming these helps me see how I’m evolving — even when the outer results haven’t shown up yet.

(Bonus Tip: Let ChatGPT Track Your Growth… If you want to take your journaling one step further, try repeating your nightly reflections to ChatGPT. This creates a running log of your growth — tracking patterns, picking up on subtle emotional shifts, and helping you stay accountable to the person you’re becoming. It’s like having a mirror that remembers how far you’ve come, even on the days you don’t.)

You don’t have to use all of these tools every night, but use something. This is how you teach your brain to see progress. This is how you become the kind of person you want to become — by noticing the progress you’re already making.

Choosing Who You Want to Be

He was right, I thought as I walked off the 18th green. I gave my dad a call and told him, “You were right. All I had to do was act like I was going to make each putt—and I did. I actually felt like I could.”

That day showed me something I didn’t fully get at the time: you don’t have to wait to feel confident. You just have to act like it now.

Confidence, calm, worthiness—these aren’t rewards you get after some big win. They’re things you practice before there’s any proof. You can walk like it, breathe like it, talk like it. The feeling follows the motion. Your nervous system catches on.

That’s what embodiment really is. And the more aware you are of how you’re already showing up, the more you can lock it in. Insight opens the door—but embodiment gets you through it. Self-awareness tells you where to focus your effort.

That’s what the belief snapshot helps with—it shows you the behind-the-scenes stories you’ve been running on autopilot. And once you notice what you’ve been rehearsing, you can start practicing something better.

You don’t become someone new just by understanding the idea. You become them by living it.

Whether we realize it or not, we’re always practicing something. Most of us are out here rehearsing stress, doubt, or feeling behind. So what if we flipped that? What if we started rehearsing confidence, peace, joy?

Change doesn’t drop out of the sky. It shows up when you do. On purpose. Not by faking it, but by practicing it.

Embodiment isn’t about faking it. It’s about acting like the person you already know you can be—because you’ve seen glimpses of them when you’ve been at your best.

That’s the start. Those moments where you were courageous, calm under pressure, or kind to someone when it mattered—those aren’t flukes. They’re proof. You’ve already felt like the version of you you’re chasing. Now it’s just about bringing that part of you to the front more often.

And here’s the best part: you stop waiting. You stop hoping. You start choosing.

That’s what the daily practice is for. Not to be perfect—but to pick who you want to be that day. Then notice what went well. What you did well. Give yourself credit.

That’s how change sticks. Because self-awareness isn’t just about seeing what’s wrong—that’s just criticism in disguise. Real self-awareness is about noticing what’s right. The small wins. The subtle shifts. The way you’re already becoming who you want to be.

So do more of that. Start noticing. Start choosing. Start showing up like the version of you you’ve been waiting for.

Maybe that version isn’t far away at all. Maybe they’re already here. You just have to feel like them—and let the proof follow.

Who do you want to be today? And how are you going to practice being them?

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