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“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…” – Teddy Roosevelt
It’s the new year, and if you’re like me, I know you feel an air of hope and possibility, but you also have a small sense of dread in the back of your mind, wondering how you’ll accomplish everything you set out to do this year. In the past, I’ve been paralyzed by how much I want to do, and at the end of the year when I take stock, I see how little of it I’ve accomplished. And yet each year, I want to make this “my year.” But time can slip away. Plans become missed opportunities. And connections fade into the background of our lives. We might be sitting here the same time next year, wondering where the time went and wishing we had done more with it.
I believe our main hindrance is the fear of what comes next, that we are still heading into the unknown. Our brains want familiarity. They want to feel that sense of control by knowing what’s coming next. But that feeling keeps us from stepping out. It keeps us from reaching where we want to go even if we know we want to get there.
I cannot determine what this year is going to be for you. Only you can do that. But what I have noticed throughout my life is the universe keeps coming to me with answers so long as I keep asking one simple question: “What does life expect of me?”
Sometimes this means enjoying the beautiful moments life has to offer while other times it requires us to step outside our comfort zone and sit with our more difficult emotions and insecurities.
Teddy Roosevelt understood that it is the man in the arena, who dares greatly, who is truly living life. We can all throw rocks from the grandstands but until we see the challenges that lie in the arena and step up to the plate, we will never understand what it means to become great. When we have the courage to venture into the unknown, this is where we find out what we are truly capable of. Without stepping out, we are never challenged and tested to become the best version of ourselves. It is the rough side of the mountain that polishes the man.
More likely than not, you’re like me, and throughout your life, you’ve avoided this discomfort by making decisions that don’t have a high chance of risk or failure. We have been told throughout our lives to think rationally, to look at the odds, and to realize how tough it is to set out to achieve what we’d like to in life. But you have to risk it to get the biscuit.
We have two options in life. We can choose to set goals based on a purpose that challenges us, that forces us to learn and grow from it, or we can shrink back into safety. The thing is we so often aspire to greatness, but when the time comes, we don’t take that step toward where we want to go. But I don’t want to look back on my life from my deathbed and face the pain of regret then. You’ll never regret a time you decided to put some skin in the game but you will regret it when you choose not to chase your passions. Even if you think it’s too late now, I promise that it’s not. We constantly have the choice. What will you decide?
This is the year you do that. Taking a step forward out into growth and toward our fears is where we will find resounding success, because, even in failure, you’ll be proud that you at least tried.
It takes courage and perseverance to stick it out in the face of adversity. We can easily look for a million reasons why something won’t work. We say things in our minds like, “I won’t be a good father because my parents didn’t love me the way I needed them to. I won’t be able to get the girl because she probably won’t like me. I won’t be able to start a business because I’ve never done this before.” Well, here’s the thing, no one has ever been prepared to make the leap into a new life.
You can’t learn these skills by reading a book or hearing about someone’s experiences second-hand. Only through our own actions, by learning through experience, can we gain the skills to do what we want to in life. Trial and error is the best friend of success. What is holding us back is not anything physical, it is a mental obstacle we’ve set up in our own minds as the fear of failure tells us all of the reasons why we shouldn’t go for it.
We have a chance here however to look at our life, not as a series of excuses as to why something won’t work, but rather realize that these obstacles are the exact reason why things will inevitably lead to success.
You can look at how your fear of commitment comes from your parents not modeling your idea of the perfect relationship as a reason not to get married and have kids, or you can realize that it is precisely because of this that you would be even more committed to being a great spouse and parent. You can see that because of your past experiences you’re even more likely to put in the effort to learn how to create a great life for your family.
We have the choice to look at obstacles as reasons to never take the first step toward our dreams or we understand they are placed before us to strengthen our resolve and give us the lessons we so desperately need to become better. We must only cultivate the courage to take that first step.
It is only by entering into the unknown that we truly are tested to live by our values, to persevere through seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and to understand and live by our purpose. It is in this that we find bliss and fulfillment in life.
When we take a look at history’s greatest figures and those from our favorite books, movies, and tv shows, what draws us to them is not the stories in which they have lived easy lives and find easy success through no hard work. It is the challenges that these heroes face that draw us in. They inspire us to face our own obstacles. The greatest stories in both life and fiction involve the main protagonist coming upon an obstacle that seems insurmountable.
When we watch these movies or learn about the heroic acts of great figures, we connect to their story as it brings the best out in us. From the outside looking in, we see a hero’s journey and the path to salvation seems clear. We often have an idea of how their story will end, with success, fulfillment, and happiness. However, this is not a luxury we have in our own lives. Our journey requires courage to face the unknown.
We all have an instinctual feeling that we have more potential that we have yet to discover – that we are capable of more than we can imagine. But you don’t need an extreme event to start changing yourself. Everything in your life is a chance to grow. Life is providing you the tools to your own salvation if you look for it.
“Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?” – Morgan Freeman
We are given what we ask for in life but rather than just being handed the answers, we are given the opportunities to achieve these through our own actions.
Greatness isn’t something we are born with or created in some magic lab. It’s not the genetics that someone was given or the so-called advantages in life they’ve had. It comes down to our own actions, our own decision to step forward despite not knowing where the path will lead us.
Stepping up to the plate when we are faced with these mountains is like lifting weights. When we first start out it’s tough, it’s tiring, and we are sore as hell afterward. However, just like we use our bodies, the more we use these mental muscles, to courageously step toward our obstacles, the easier it will become. It will start to feel routine.
Learn to love the obstacles you face. They are secretly the answers to your prayers. They can transform you into the best version of yourself. It would be a short movie if every time the main character faced an obstacle they went home.
We have the opportunity on a daily basis to become the hero in our own lives. Our mission in life is to strive for a higher version of ourselves. The answer to this, however, is not found outside of us but rather through searching within.
So who would you like to become in this new year? What would you like to do? What would you like to accomplish? Who would you like to spend time with? How are you taking advantage of this chance you have to fully live your life?
These are questions only you can answer. And whether or not you choose to face them, you will be giving life an answer.
Taking the first step toward the lives we desire just requires one small act of courage. Regardless if you succeed or fail, I can promise that you’ll be proud that you tried, and even more proud of the person you became in the process.
I encourage you to step up to the challenge, take that next step, and choose to dare greatly in this new year.
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