The Obstacle is the Way

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

Marcus Aurelius

We all have monsters in our life, we have challenges to overcome, and when we are faced with either, we will undoubtedly learn who we really are. The choice when we come upon them is to lean in, to learn, or to run away, avoiding the demons that plague us.

The greatest stories in life and fiction involve the main protagonist coming upon an obstacle that seems insurmountable. We can see this in the film Rudy in which Rudy Gallagher, a small-town Indiana boy, yearns to play on the Notre Dame football team.

The only asset by his side is his heart and determination to push through anything. It is only after spending years overcoming the obstacles in his life that he gets the chance to step onto the field for the last play of the final game of his career. However, it is the hard work along the journey that resonates with the audience.

Why do these stories inspire us? What do these cinderella stories draw out of the recesses of our hearts and minds?

We all have an instinctual feeling that we are have so much more potential in us – that we are capable of more than we can imagine. The only thing stopping us is our fear of the unknown and the insecurities that these obstacles can bring up.

When we watch these movies or learn about the heroic acts of great figures like Harriet Tubman, Malala Yousafzai, or Nelson Mandela, we connect to their story as it inspires what’s best within us. From the outside looking in, the path to salvation seems clear. We often have an idea of how their story will end. This is not a luxury we have in our own lives.

We are in the arena and are coming face to face with our own demons. This is naturally unsettling. However, the importance of these challenges cannot be understated as they act as a conduit to growth by often shattering our previous notions of our ego/self. True courage comes when we can look in the mirror and accept who we are, yet boldly challenge ourselves to grow past our current boundaries of comfort.

This became clear to me when I got sick. I lost everything my ego considered to be important. My body became weak as I suffered extreme nerve pain and 30lbs of weight slipped away from my frame in a mere 2 months. Brain inflammation caused my mind to become disoriented. I lost my memory and ability to talk – my connections to my past self and to others. All of this led me to see my raw, unfiltered self. Every insecurity I could imagine separated and floated to the surface like oil in water.

I had two options when this happened. To run from the physical and emotional pain I was suffering, or to dive headfirst into this opportunity of growth, to challenge who I really was and to see just who I could become. I chose the latter (but not after I tried running as I had all my life). On a daily basis, this is the choice that I still have and sometimes struggle with.

You don’t need an extreme event to start changing yourself. Everything in your life is a chance to grow.

Stuck in traffic and getting frustrated? This is a perfect time to practice patience and develop a compassion for everyone else stuck in traffic with you.

Someone challenges your way of thinking causing you to lose your temper? Notice how your ego is trying to inflate itself when you say in your mind “isn’t it obvious that I’m right?”

Maybe you have the opportunity to stand up for something you believe in when typically you would just remain quiet on the sidelines, afraid to change the status quo. Now’s your chance to work to step up to the plate and be a beacon of courage.

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

Morgan Freeman

The key is to first become aware of these make or break moments. If you get slapped by the truth but you’re too busy drawing your attention away from what’s painful to you, it’s going to be tough for any real change to occur in your life.

Meditation can help with being present and aware in these moments. Try meditating on your breath for just 10 minutes each morning and you’ll soon see the results. For helpful ideas on how to meditate, Click Here.

Regardless of your awareness of these opportunities to grow, they will still feel daunting. Stepping up to the plate when we are faced with these mountains is like lifting weights. When we first start out its tough, it’s tiring, and we are sore as hell afterward. The same is true here.

However, just like in fitness, the more we use these muscles to courageously step into our obstacles, the easier it will get. Soon the hard work will pay off and we’ll reap the benefits for the rest of our life.

Regardless, we must remain conscious of what lies ahead and be open to new, unseen paths of learning. Our education never stops.

Once you stop learning, you start dying.

Albert Einstein

Learn to love the obstacles you face. They are here to make you the best version of yourself. It would be a short movie if every time the main character faced an obstacle they went home.

We have the opportunity on a daily basis to become the hero in our own life. It was Maslow who said, “what one can be, one must be!” Our mission in life is to strive for a higher version of ourselves. The answer to this, however, is not found outside of us, but rather by searching within. Step up to the challenge and you’ll be surprised at just how deep the rabbit hole goes.