Finding Your Shit – And The Answers Within

There was once a man who was struggling in life. He sought out many remedies, but none had worked. He distracted himself, hung out with friends, and tried to have fun, but the problems that plagued him were still there. However, he had heard the peaceful meditation involved with becoming a Buddhist monk was quite soothing. He believed this was his path to peace and that all other problems would melt away.

He arrived at the first temple and introduced himself to the monk at the gate. He said, “Hi, I’d like to become a monk here at your monastery.” The monk bowed and quietly showed him to his quarters. The man was given a robe and sandals, which would become his uniform during his initiation.

The man was enjoying his time at the monastery for many weeks. Each day he would get up, meditate for an hour and begin to do the chores they had tasked him with. He would mop the floors, sweep the walking paths, and wash the dishes after meals. He lived a simple, content life.

One day, upon returning from a walk through the neighboring town, he began to smell something. He walked up to the monk at the gate and asked, “Does it smell like shit to you?” The monk paused for a second and replied, “Indeed it does.”

“I thought so!” yelled the man. He went about his daily chores, but everywhere he went, it smelled terrible. He began to think, “maybe this whole monastery smells like this! How did I not notice this before?!”

Days went by and soon weeks, but the man was still overwhelmed by the smells he found throughout the compound. He didn’t understand how others could bear this.

Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and went running up to the head monk and said, “This whole place smells like shit, and I can’t take it anymore! I am sorry, but I have to leave. I have to find a new monastery.”

The monk bowed, and before he had a chance to say anything, the man had already left. 

This man walked for many days until he reached the next monastery. He went up to the monk at the gate and said, “I would like to become a monk here. The last monastery I lived at smelled like shit.”

The monk quietly bowed and showed him to his quarters.

The man began the chores at this new monastery. He would mop the floors, sweep the walking paths, and wash the dishes. But again, he smelled shit everywhere he went.

The man, infuriated that he had once again gone to a monastery that smelled like shit, went up to the head monk and said, “I’m sorry, but this whole place smells. I can no longer live here. I must leave. I must find a new monastery.”

The monk quietly bowed, and the man once again began his journey to the next monastery. But the same thing happened at the next one! Everywhere he went, it smelled! The man tried again and again, going from monastery to monastery, but it just kept smelling like shit. He began to believe that all of these monks were just ok with the smell, that it didn’t bother them.

Finally, the man returned to the gates of the monastery he began his journey at. He walked up to the head monk and said, “Ok. Everywhere I go, it smells like shit. I was happy here despite the smell. Could I come back here to learn and meditate under you and the masters?”

The monk smiled and bowed, but then he looked up at our traveler. He said, “I’m glad you came back. You ran out of here so fast I wasn’t able to tell you that you had stepped in some shit, and it had gotten all over your robes.”

The man looked by his feet, and sure enough, his robe was covered in shit.

We often fall prey to the same traps in life. We believe that others and external events cause our pain and suffering. That it smells like shit everywhere we go because of others’ actions.

We believe the reason someone annoys us so much is because of how they act, that we can’t find love because there are no people that will treat us exactly as we’d like, and we can’t find success because others were born with more advantages than us. All of us have an area in our life where we blame someone or something else for how we feel. 

But this is just us going from monastery to monastery, saying each one smells like shit and hoping we find what we’re looking for at the next one. We blame the monastery rather than the shit we’ve stepped in. But at a certain point, you need to stop and ask if it is them or me. The power over our life comes when we take responsibility for everything. However, this is rarely how we approach life. 

We typically claim credit for the good but blame external events for the bad. But taking responsibility for your life means accepting it all, good or bad. We must accept that we are also at fault for our own suffering. We try to escape any pain by blaming others or events. We try to fill that void within through external success and achievement. We look for happiness at the end of the yellow-brick road. We believe our problems will fade when we get the girl, money, success, or fame. But we never find it there; it’s never over the next hill or in the next monastery.

Blaming other people or events only pushes the problem away from us. But a problem ignored is never solved. We must go within and do the work. Only when we take responsibility and realize that it is our own robe that smells like shit can we begin to find the solutions we seek. 

Most of us are freezing in the middle of winter right now. To deal with this discomfort and warm yourself, you wouldn’t go out into a blizzard with a portable heater and try to warm up the weather outside, would you? No matter what the elements are like outside, you probably have the climate within your home at a comfortable setting. You’ve changed your internal thermostat.

It would be crazy to try to control the outside weather, so why do you do it in your own life?

We can’t pick and choose what happens to us in life, but we can choose our attitude toward it. When we do the work to clean our robes, whether that’s through meditation, therapy, or journalling, we’ll begin to notice a change in our external world. The climate outside may be rough, but you are watching it from the comfort of your own mind. 

When you screw up in life and feel embarrassed, feel someone is condescending toward you, or disrespecting you, you can build yourself up from within. No one can make you feel any less than what you are. Connect with your shadow. Affirm your worth by telling yourself that you love yourself, that you respect yourself, that even if you mess up, you are learning and getting better. The praise you are searching for is found within.

When you become anxious about life and fearful of what may happen, your instinct will urge you to control your surroundings by making things look a certain way or have people act how you want them to. But instead, take a deep breath, four seconds in and four seconds, and tell yourself it’s all ok (because it really is all ok). In quieting the internal storm, we can relax into our anxieties of perceived external ones. 

If we think that the missing void within us can be filled by achieving a goal, making a certain amount of money, or some other final destination, we will again be disappointed when we get there. It is when we find our purpose and do our best to exemplify our values through our daily actions that we stumble upon fulfillment and wholeness in life. This won’t be found in outward pursuits but only when you dive within and truly understand yourself. The purpose you are searching for is found within.

There has been shit on our robes, and we’ve had no idea. Begin looking around for where yours may be hiding. It will often show up as our fears and insecurities and an urge to control our lives. But it is only when we understand the answers we seek can only be found within that we reclaim the power of mastery in our lives. This is self-mastery.

We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude toward it. Change your internal thermostat and become the master of your mind. Search for the shit on your robe, and you will find it. However, no one can do the work for you. That’s up to you.

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